For 25 years, Brits went to Mallorca to party (in time shifting their allegiance to neighboring Ibiza). For Germans, it remains a top holiday spot, much favored by those who can recognize Z-List celebs. Sun, sea, schnitzel and sangria are the essentials for German visitors to the island who irritate their Spanish hosts by provocatively calling Mallorca “Germany’s seventeenth federal state.” Europeans generally take exception when Germans talk about annexing their territory, even in jest.

Counting celebs

For those German visitors, most of whom jet in on all-inclusive packages, the poolside chat is about football, what’s going on back home and the tacky scene that German media companies have shaped around Mallorca. Minor stars like Daniela Katzenberger brighten the seaside circus, fueling speculation as to whether she really is as “naturally blond” as she claims and quite how much silicone is tucked away in her extravagant curves. True devotees of Katzenberger flock to her café in Santa Ponça, just along the road from the Kultbistro run by Jürgen Drews — a German singer, now way beyond pension age, whose hits apparently still command affection. Drews styles himself “The King of Mallorca” while Katzenberger is evidently “Top Model of the World Mallorca”.

This parallel world of Teutonic fantasy goes unnoticed by most inhabitants of Mallorca. Even the Brits who visit Santa Ponça are bemused by these German antics on the holiday island. “Who is Katzenberger?” they ask. The Jürgen Drews phenomenon is even harder to unpack for non-Germans who stumble into the Kultbistro.

Clinging to the coast

German visitors have colonized parts of the Mallorcan coast, with the greatest concentration of hotels aimed at those visitors in Cala Millor on the east coast. Elsewhere there are other resorts favored by Germans. The platja de Palma has acquired a particular notoriety with the local authorities this year imposing a night-time drinking ban (curbing the excesses of Germans who party till late in venues like the Oberbayern and the Bierkönig).

Stick to those resorts, and you might be forgiven for thinking that Germany really has annexed Mallorca. The reality is rather different. The German imprint is only modest on a large island. There is a very small year-round German population (Katzenberger and Drews perhaps among them). Quite what those residents do in the wet winter months when the resorts are deserted is a mystery.

Visitors to Mallorca who venture inland, whether to the hills of the north-west, the vineyards of Binissalem or the market at Sineu will find landscapes of delicate beauty. Some day we’ll tell you about them, but now we’re off to the beach with a beer and a bratwurst.

You can read our second article about Mallorca published in January 2014 here on EuroCheapo.

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The only thing that lets Menorca down when it comes to being Cheapo-friendly are the flight prices. I was traveling from London and could easily have been swayed to book flights to other more popular Spanish sun-soaked destinations for half the price, but I stuck to my guns and paid £150 on return flights to Menorca’s capital, Mahon.

Where to sleep

When it comes to accommodation, there are a lot of different options across the island, but the north is the least touristy area. I opted for a pretty whitewashed apartment in the small resort of Son Parc. An apartment with two double bedrooms here—complete with terrace—will set you back around £350 per week and sleeps up to four people (just £87 per person per week), with access to a communal pool, fantastic views and the stunning Son Saura beach just a five minute walk away. Alternatively, you can opt for the Son Parc Hotel from around £47 per room per night, based on two sharing.

The one thing worth investing in, especially if you’re staying in the north of the island, is a rental car. I paid £120 for a week between four people with BK Rent a Car.

Explore the cities and beaches of Menorca and you’ll find some picturesque spots like this one.

Eating and drinking

Menorca, in addition to great cheap sleeps, offers tasty local food at low prices—if you know when, where and what to eat. Here are some tips:

Hit the supermarket for breakfast and dinner

If you decide to hire an apartment, you should stock up on tasty breakfasts and barbecue dinners from Mercadona near the airport. The supermarket in Son Parc is useful for the essentials, but you’ll get much better value elsewhere. Then, make like the locals and eat out at lunch, when you can enjoy some delicious Menus del Día (three course menus) for as little as €10 per person. This is definitely the best way to enjoy the local produce for less.

Charming lunches in Ciutadella and Fornells

The city of Ciutadella is not to be missed. Get lost in the rabbit warren of tiny streets, drink some traditional pomada (Menorcan gin with lemon) in a pretty plaza, or lap up the atmosphere (and the fancy yachts) along the waterfront. Most of the restaurants along here serve typical fare with menus at similar prices—a slightly inflated €15 for three courses—but the fantastic view is more than worth the extra few euros.

Fornells, in the north of the island, also makes for a tasty lunch stop. The seafront is lined with restaurants boasting identical menus, all vying for the visitor’s attention and you can get a three-course lunch for €10-€12 along here with no difficulty at all. Sa Rumbada was my personal favorite; the stuffed aubergines and grilled hake were especially good. Walk off lunch with a brisk stroll up to Fornells Tower, where you’ll enjoy fantastic views of the town and the coastline.

The Menorcan dish Arroz Caldoso de Marisco is a perfect—and Cheapo—taste of the island. Help yourself!

Cheapo meal tip

Caldereta de Langosta (Lobster Stew) is Menorca’s most traditional dish, but the prices can be astronomical. Equally tasty is a hearty pot of Arroz Caldoso de Marisco—rice and lashings of seafood cooked slowly in a delicious sauce for a fraction of the price.

Don’t forget about wine!

Menorcan’s are also very proud of their locally produced vinos, so stop by Binifadet Bodega and Restaurant for a really informative tour and the chance to taste a few different wines. The tours run every day until 7 p.m. and they’re completely free— though the wine is so good you may find it hard to leave without buying a bottle or two!

Free spa treatments

Yes, that’s right Cheapos, get down to Cala Cavalleria and take a right when you get to the beach to access the natural mud baths. The kind of clay skin treatment that other destinations charge hefty entrance fees for, is here free to “do it yourself.” You’ll see plenty of other people sunning themselves while caked in the purifying goodness of Menorca’s red clay. Cover your skin evenly and let it dry for around 15 minutes before washing it all off in the sea for incredibly soft skin.

Megalithic Monuments

Menorca is scattered with over 2,000 megalithic monuments, the smaller of which you can often visit for free, while the larger sites don’t charge more than €3.50 per person. Erected in the Bronze Age, these towering stones punctuate the landscape, standing tall and proud on hilltops.

There are several different types of monuments. The Navetes were used as burial chambers, while nobody is 100% sure of the meaning behind The Talaiots, the most impressive of which are the Taules. These enormous T-shaped stone structures leave you gasping in disbelief at how on earth it was possible to position one stone on top of the other. They are normally surrounded by smaller stones believed to have been for deities or offerings but the meaning behind the Taules themselves is still disputed.

With more beaches than Ibiza and Mallorca put together, excellent value food and accommodation, intriguing cities and free or very cheap cultural offerings, Menorca really did turn out to be a Cheapo summer paradise. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

For more information on Menorca, visit the Menorca Tourist Office.  If you have any questions about Menorca or anything else, feel free to post them on the comments board below.

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That latter stretch (shown as a solid green line on our map) skirts the south coast of Mallorca, affording good views of Cabrera along the way. Cabrera is nowadays a nature reserve, but during the Napoleonic Wars it had a terrible reputation as a prison island. Those who were sent there were condemned to live like savages on the barren terrain of Cabrera.

Map © hidden europe

Later in the journey, the ship runs up the great inlet that signals arrival in Maó. This really is the way to arrive in Menorca. It is splendid.

Exploring the Balearic Islands

We rate that Sunday journey from Palma to Maó as one of the finest short ferry routes in the Mediterranean. It is just a pity that it runs but once a week. The operator is Acciona Trasmediterranea, the leading shipping company on routes from the Spanish mainland to the Balearics and Canary Islands.

From Maó, it is possible to continue with another Acciona Trasmediterranea ship back to the mainland at Barcelona. On the Valencia to Palma and the Maó to Barcelona sections (both shown as green dashed lines on the map), sailings are several times each week. It is merely Palma to Maó that runs only weekly.

Back to the mainland

The journey we commend here (effectively from Valencia to Barcelona via the islands) is one of many creative itineraries available to travelers around the Balearic islands. Maó is a great place to stop over for a couple of nights. So we suggest taking that Saturday evening sailing from Valencia on the Albayzin which will have you in Maó by early afternoon Sunday. Then take the mid-morning boat Tuesday from Maó on to Barcelona to arrive back on the mainland that evening.

It makes a perfect 72-hour island tour, and a fine chance to relax in the middle of a longer European trip. The one-way fare for the full circuit from Valencia to Barcelona via the islands is €138.50.

Other options

Other ferry routes around and between the islands are shown on our map as dotted lines. There is another useful shipping operator apart from Acciona Trasmediterranea. That is Balearia, who use the port of Denia on the Costa Blanca as the mainland hub for their operations.

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